I thought there were far too many different descriptions of photographic styles mentioned. It was almost like you were trying to still decide what you were going to do. I think it would be better to focus on exactly what the concept will be and how it will be done. I made some notes on some of the images and highlighted all the different styles listed.
I liked the second version better. It was more concise and focused in concept. I did think the text was too large and took too much focus from the images.
